HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK-UP
A break-up is never easy and can be one of the most stressful and painful experiences in life, regardless of who is the initiator. The breakup of a relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling emotions. Most of us have been through one. Some breakups are quick and painless, while others are painful and destabilising.
But what can you do when you can’t stop thinking about the person who broke your heart? How do you actually move on?
Here are some helpful tips for anyone who is going through a break-up:
Talk about how you’re feeling with people you trust – It is important that you talk to someone about your feelings, no matter how hard this may be for you. Talking about your feelings with others will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal. If you find it easier to write about your feelings, then do this as well, it all helps. People who have been through painful breakups can be especially helpful. They know what it is like and they can assure you that there is hope for healing and new relationships. Just remember that grieving is essential to the healing process. The pain of grief is what helps you let go of the old relationship and move on. It’s also important to remember that no matter how strong your grief, it won’t last forever.
Remember that your overall goal is to move on – While expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyse the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger, and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward.
Remind yourself that you have a life waiting for beyond this break- up – When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams for a life together. After a breakup, it’s hard to let these dreams go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once planned together, just know the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones. More importantly, you are now in control of your life and you can do anything or go anywhere you want to – relish this while it lasts!
Spend time with people who support and value you. When reaching out to talk to friends or family, choose wisely. Surround yourself with people who are positive and who truly listen to you. It’s important that you feel free to be honest about what you’re going through, without worrying about being judged or criticised.
Get outside help if you need it. If reaching out to others doesn’t come naturally, consider seeing a counsellor. Make an appointment with your doctor and request a referral to someone in the helping profession or investigate services available in your local council. The most important thing is that you have at least one place where you feel comfortable opening up.
Cultivate new friendships or sign up to a few online dating sites. If you feel like you have lost your social network along with the breakup, make an effort to meet new people. Join a gym or special interest club, take a class and get involved in community activities. Better still, sign up to a few online dating sites and start to enjoy dating again. You are in control and you decide who and when. Ultimately you need to remember and trust that there are other people who are far more compatible for you, who offer many of the same positive qualities your previous partner had, just better.
Time is the main thing that will help you move on. Over time you forget about the good memories that were keeping you tied to that person. After a while, you just stop having feelings for them because you are occupied with other things, meeting new people and living your life. That person isn’t part of your life anymore.
Here are some empowering quotes about breaking up and moving on. Find the one that connects with you and put it up on your mirror:
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ~ Marilyn Monroe
“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~ Paulo Coelho
“When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.” ~ Barney Stinson
“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” ~ Guy Finley
“Never love anybody that treats you like you’re ordinary.”~ Oscar Wilde
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~ M. Kathleen Casey
“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph Campbell
“I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.” ~ Alex Elle
“Get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.” ~ Genevieve Rhode
“I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.” ~ Carl Sagan