Here are some helpful tips to make sure you are attracting the right people online:
- Give a snapshot of who you are and how you live your life.
Your profile should start out by describing your most prominent and positive character traits. Are you funny? Outgoing? Creative? Loyal? Affectionate? Intellectually curious? Choose 3 or 4 adjectives that best describe your personality. If you’re at a loss, ask your friends for help describing you. A simple question to ask your friends is how would they describe you to someone they were setting you up with?
Be sure to also include what you care about. Don’t just mention your job and move on as it’s not a resume. If you love your job, say so. But more importantly, what are you passionate about? What do you care most about? The environment? Helping others? Winning a marathon or rescuing stray dogs? This is important to write about and the right people are going to think that’s awesome.
Remember – you want to attract the people who are looking for what you are looking for. If you want a relationship, say so!
- Be specific in your description.
When you are writing about who you are and how your live your life, be sure to show the reader what that looks like. You are trying to attract the right people to you, and to do that you need to be specific. For example, many people say in their profiles they like to travel. “Travel” could mean anything from skiing in Queenstown or trekking across the Himalayas or cruising the Greek Islands. Don’t assume that the reader is going to know which of these you’d be into!
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Talk about your favourite travel destinations, your dream vacation or the best trip you ever took. The person who loves your kind of travel will take note.
Rather than saying “I love relaxing on weekends” say something more specific like “I love to relax on weekends – my ideal weekend includes a Netflix binge and a late Sunday breakfast.”
The added bonus of being specific is that it gives people who want to reach out to you a “hook” to mention in a message to you.
- Leave out any negative messages.
Negativity is so not sexy! Not only do you come across as negative, but you also give the impression that you are the very thing you claim not to want. The better you are at attracting the right people, the more the wrong ones won’t be attracted to you. Your focus instead should be on being contacted by those you do want to date!
It is more effective to focus on attracting the right people than repelling the wrong ones.
- Decide the story you want to tell.
Your profile tells a story. It’s a short story that captures your personality. It might tell the story of an athletic, ambitious world traveller, or a quiet, sincere introvert.
Your story is dictating who is attracted to you, so make sure you are grabbing the attention of the right people. If you aren’t able to be objective about your profile, ask someone you trust to read it for you. Is it highlighting your best qualities? What are you saying between the lines? Is it what your ideal partner wants to hear?
Are you expressing what is both unique to you and what is attractive to who you want to date? If you can do that, you are winning! And you just might meet the perfect person for you online.
- Check your spelling and grammar.
In today’s world, there is no excuse to have spelling mistakes and bad grammar in dating profiles. While plenty of people will be forgiving of typos, don’t risk turning off someone just because you didn’t use spellcheck.
The thoughtfulness and care you put into your profile will show and be appreciated by others. So, make the effort to clean up your mistakes!